• brendasholley

You Are Not A Tree


Making a major life change feels very challenging. Dare I say it feels impossible when we are standing at the edge of the abyss and we can’t see the bottom no matter how hard we peer down? The fog obscures our sight and the worst scenarios imaginable come forward to roost in our minds.

I’m specifically thinking of job change today. That feels like an enormous leap and we don’t know the outcome even if we have another job lined up all nice and tidy. I recently had a friend tell me that they knew job change could be done because they had seen me do it last year. It was like my action awakened in this person that people can change jobs. That’s scary as it gives someone else your power.

Why does this particular change feel so big? There are a few key reasons and I’d like to acknowledge them.

For most people, our jobs provide our income. That income supports ourselves and in many cases, a family. That foundational security is rocked when we even think about making a move.

Where we work is our point of reference to who we are. I am The Master Juggler with the Greatest Show on Earth or whatever we are. For the love of heaven, it is our identity and identity is a big deal.

My friends are there and I love my friends. This is an excuse. Your friends will remain your friends.

The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. This is not true but we still trot it out.

YOU ARE NOT A TREE. YOU CAN MOVE.

Here are a few facts to illustrate that you absolutely can make a successful job change when that time is right.

The overwhelming majority of us (okay, everyone I know) has changed jobs and lived to tell about it. There are a lot of ways to make money that are perfectly legal. As a matter of fact, both job and career change are also legal.

It’s only hard until we do it. I don’t say this to undermine the scope of a change like this but to provide the truth and a ray of hope. After we do it, it feels so damn easy. There is always that flood of relief.

If the job you are in is not right, how much time do we choose to spend of our valuable days being in that state of misery? Yes, we always know when it isn’t right. We stuff it down and don’t admit it.

I have friends from several jobs I’ve left. It’s a wonderful handful that I’m so grateful for. The fact is that we don’t continue to stay in touch with most of the people we used to work with because it was the work relationship that was the binding glue. After that’s gone, many of those bonds weaken through natural attrition.

I don’t want to spend any more of my work life with devils of unpleasantness.

YOU ARE NOT A TREE. YOU CAN MOVE.

The job market is very employee friendly now. The economy is good. If you’d like assistance in assessing how you feel about your job, I have tools. If you already know the answer to that, I can provide coaching to help you have clarity around another opportunity.


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